Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
