so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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