I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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