one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
