sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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