omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize