we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
