there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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