I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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