I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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