at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize