It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
