She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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