So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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