all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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