k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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