oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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