Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
