shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
