Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
