Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize