Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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