hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
