The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
