We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize