Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
