gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
