thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
