Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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