Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize