I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
