Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
