I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So much rum. So many feels.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
