How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
