I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
