All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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