So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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