I heard we made out
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
