I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
