it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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