We're like a lot better than the average bears
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
