the condom got lost in my hair
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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