I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You were trust falling into bushes
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