Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
