My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
