Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
we should paint friendship bongs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
