Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
