if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
