Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
