Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
