Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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