3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
