..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
