Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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