Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
