so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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