You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
