Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize