God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
