lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
