I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
