We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
