He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
