you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Mom said you looked used
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
