she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
