Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Randomize
